Anger Management

first of all, i apologise to family members who read this, because this is one lengthy post filled with harsh words. So if you can't accept the fact that i am such a vulgar person, then simple, get lost.

there's two things bothering me these days. firstly, please, do.not.bother.asking.me.how.am.i everyday. if you feel it is courteous, it is not. it is fucking mind boggling. get it? if you want to ask, by all means, do-fucking-so, but if you can't accept a one word answer, then forget about asking me. what's up with this shit of expecting more than one word? you expect me to tell you ALL the little things in life, what goes on in my mind, then for heaven's sake, send a bloody spy. clearly, i do not have time to answer all the goddamn small things in life that happened in a fucking day. i clearly do not need more than one boyfriend. and if i do not ask how was your day, why fucking bother telling me, this shows i don't even have time to read bullshit. seriously, i do not think i need to report how many hair grew in my armpit today or how i realized there's an ant in the fucking toilet. if i want to tell someone this, i can just find a boyfriend. period.

so if you wanna know something different in my day, like how i died or was involved in an accident, lemme tell you, there's nothing interesting about my days. i wake up, eat, shit, bathe, study, school, return, sleep, eat, watch tv. the same ol' fucking shit every goddamn day. i am sorry to disappoint if you wanna know anything extra.

firstly, i didn't answer politely, not because i had a bad dream! it's because i just do not want to answer. and do you actually ask everyone the 'how was ur day' question. that question is fucking annoying i can tell you that. whether i overslept and what my heart thinks about IS MY GODDAMN PROBLEM. why do you keep thinking you have the right to know?? and i didn't ask how was your day. i have too many other days to bother about than to ask how was yours. and seriously, i do not want to share my life with a friend. i want to share my life with someone i love, obviously. and why bother which i pick? whether their words are sweet or they are cute and u think they are playboys, and why u bother being disappointed in me. do not judge someone you don't know, you just downright pissed me off there. i didn't choose you, live with it. stop telling me things to change my mind about you. because once i made a decision, you live with my decision. leave me alone. what you think about me that i can be moved with sweet words, IS DOWNRIGHT WRONG. because i stand by my principles, i am a person with principles.

secondly, if you are my fucking friend, stop being a pretentious slut. whore. the trouble with you asking me for the latest news is just for fun. not because you care, not because you're a fucking friend. clearly, u are just not pleased that somethings which belonged to me, will sooner or fucking, later, return to me. so if you don't bother giving CON-FUCKING-SOLING (consoling dude) words to me or any WISE enough advice, shut the fuck up, don't come and ask me for anything. i don't even think you are partially qualified to give a smart enough advice obviously. one thing that people misinterprete about good friends is that they all listen. bull-fucking-shit i tell u. i don't need people telling me 'i don't know', 'i am not sure'. very simple, in life, when i treat someone good, i expect the same shit from you. if you don't, then try to fucking re-evaluate your goddamn self and see how bloody 'useful' you have been as a fucking friend, will you do me that favour? then you finally fucking realize you are actually good enough to be compared on par with me, think again, you're a horrible person. anyway, please stop misusing the word 'good friend'. if really you cannot give a damn on how i am feeling, why you ask 'so what's up'. you can go straight to the goddamn point and say 'so what's the gossip, are u dead yet or are u suffering yet, 'friend'?'.

last but not least, seriously, LAST-FUCKING-LEAST, you need to bloody grow up. everyone needs to adapt to a new group, so be it. maybe you need to think, how in any fucking other ways you could have handled the goddamn situation. one person, when they lose their friends, the childish ones think someone is sabotaging him, but if you can finally think as a grown up, maybe really, your attitude is shit balls. if you feel i stole something from you, maybe i have not at all, because it wasn't yours in the first place, bitch. and please, you can have it for all i care, because i have grown, i am fucking 21 and i can think, I MOVE ON IN LIFE. not like you, always stuck at square one. anyway, for things you feel you had once, like someone's heart, maybe you never really had it at all because people who told you that you had it, was just merely trying to fucking please you. it was all IMAGINARY to you, seriously. and let me tell you, i moved on, months ago. so what you think i stole, i already put it back in a place where it came from, which is obviously not you. and please, stop banging your good friends, because what have they gotta do with this. so think wisely, just because no one sides you, it's not their fault. this is HOW YOU CHASED YOUR FRIENDS AWAY DUDE! do not fucking sulk at rotten eggs.

THERE IT FUCKING GOES. i will remove this once i am over it. i seriously hate pretentious sluts who tries to be someone they can never be.

Ps. (editted) thank you to those who actually hear me out when i am angry or down. yee vonn, jo, c veannnnnnnnnn, ALVIN and yin wai of course. occasionally jack. haha. i love you people.