dressed up!

this is a girlie post. so if you're a guy, don't stay any much longer okay. actually this is for a blog reader of mine, whom consulted me on a 'dress' dilemma the other day. and she wanted to know what sort of dresses i invest in, wtf.

i was.....ataken back by that statement. challenge. because, really i have no specific dresses i favour.

i was thinking since i was going to take pictures, might as well i just do this on a blog post. wtf. haha. i am sorry, i am no fashionista, but i just happen to like to collect clothes. so see me as a clothes collector.

i, well, have fetish over white/offwhite/cream dresses. they're pretty to look at. but a pain to maintain.

i like white dresses with floral designs or eyelet designs. they're extremely pretty and white coordinates nicely with any other colours!

i like lazy dresses. i have no idea their specific names but these are dresses i put on when i feel lazy or extremely laid back wtf. or when i feel extremely ugly.

more lazy dresses! anyway i don't really wear them. i don't know why i bought them. kimonos are laid back too, because it's such a lazy person's choice.

and i absolutely love empire waistline dresses (baby doll dresses). i mean, it's EXTREMELY me.

i er took a picture with this because i love this particular dress. wtf, i even wore it for company law extra classes, i remember hello. and this was from pull & bear, pavillion. and i bought it back in 2007, long ago! i remember clearly because erm, this is one of the few dresses, which is a good investment. (carry you home is playing and it reminds me sooo much of brandon, hi there!) good investment meaning i've worn it for than five times.

baby doll dresses in gingham prints and floral designs, very very me wtf. i have no idea why i love baby doll dresses. they're extremely versatile i swear. i wear them for shopping. i wear them for movies. i wear them for dinner. i wear them to classes (throw over cardigan). so wtf, i heart baby doll dresses.

very few colourful dresses because i am not an adventurous person. but i do have them because, i sometimes need some colours to make myself happy! apparently i am a boring person, so you can't really rely on me for having purple/fuchsia/orange dresses.

sorry another fetish. why do i have so many of these! haha. wth man. i don't know. um, smocked tube dresses are extremely casual. but easy to throw over with. just that these dresses have appeared to make me look very preggers, so i actually stopped wearing them.

after seeing this, i really should put them to use.

i don't collect floral dresses to the extreme, but i do not mind them. the trouble with floral dresses is that, they appear to make you look older. wtf. is that bad? i don't know. but the floral prints are so cute, sometimes it's hard for me to pass off.

flowy dresses are cute, but i seldom wear them because they appear to be very dramatic. i've only worn this like once? and i do not like long dresses! makes me look, short....sigh. and i never ever wear bubble hemmed dresses. because they're weird.

bandeau coral neck dresses. not my sort of thing. but i still have them. i hunch, so halter dresses don't look extremely too nice on me. but i try not to hunch these days! seriously. i have actually few more halter dresses, but really, i am too lazy to post up pictures. i am sorrrrry!



DRESSES WHICH HASN'T BEEN WORN AND ARE BRAND NEW. wtf man seriously. and i still have dresses which were pre-ordered last week. so, invite me to your party because i have so many dresses to wear.


so seriously, if you asked me what sort of dresses i invest in, i really can't give you a specific answer because i buy whatever that i really fancy in. i have not enough time to put up pictures of the rest. but i still have maxi dresses (what for did i buy them! they make me look short) and other unneccesary dresses. sigh. this jailbrid one is cute, but i've only once it twice i think.

ok, after this post, i have decided to really seriously, stop buying dresses. haha, SERIOUS.

it's extremely late and it's time to sleep. i am sorry if you find me extremely self contented talking about my dresses. but i find this post very self reflecting because, it thought me not to buy anymore dresses.

ps. so brandon! forget about the dresses i asked you to get for me. now i want shoes. haha. will talk to you which colour, but I DOWAN BOTH SAME SHOES!

thank you for taking 5 minutes off you 24 hours to read my dressy post!

yester-years.

today i was at college signing up for my subjects, for my final semester. i mean, TIME FLIES. i remember going to education fair in 2007 and now you tell me i'm doing my final semester. i cannot face the fact though. i've grown so much. and learnt so much. changed so much.


i was just a child, young carefree child once back then.

let's see how i've grown.


i was a very young, pampered child. because i was the youngest, my sister and my mum gave me everything i wanted and i was never caned! the most was just kneeling in front of the altar.

the baby bolster, which i named my blog after. which lived with me up to 21 years. which is now, lying dearly next to my pillow. i wished i was young and had no responsibilities!

back at primary years, this is a prefectorial board picture. i was a prefect for a year till i realized the prefect thing wasn't for me, i settled in for a ketua kelas post. that's sabrina on the left!!! haha, coconut hair wtf. and that's kumutha devi, hi.

this was, form four. during church confirmation night. where's nat d cruz. haha. see, i was leggy back then too! hehe.

candid for LEO. iu director, funding director (very good funding dir.), membership director, kelefeh (wtf, secretary lah) and president! eh i was skinny back then too.

mo jern very imba handsome here. this is form five i think.

i've grown so much, and i don't want to grow!! stop me from growing up.

remind me how i've grown this fast.

random shu talk!

cute. i just finished my international monetary economics paper. and like all economics paper (you know, those which starts with ECON), i was again short of time. hello, people need to write in for an extension because really, it hurts my arm!


have you ever heard of arm sore due to exams? if no, take an ECON1087 paper. haha.


sorry have to bathe, i haven't taken my bathe this morning when i went for paper.
edited: ok i smell good now.


i think i just caught a cold because i am sneezing (bless me, and my heart because it stopped for a moment wth). someone taught me this, we say 'bless you' when someone sneezes because their heart actually stopped for a moment! cool, how come we do not say, rest in peace?


anyway, i was here because no, not to rant about my exams, but to talk about shoes!


yes shoes! today when i was taking my bag from the front of the exam hall, mun wah (the cf president!) stepped on my sandals and she exclaimed 'eh you're in sandals!' hahahaha. metropolitan people are so mean because they sterotype me by my clothes.


mun wah once said, when we were in sunway pyramid (for lunch i think, and i went to pick a card for special someone's birthday, but sad, wrong address!), and i was looking at shoes, she said 'marianne is always in ballet flats'. wtf. very observant, but why categorize me like that! haha. but i found it very funny i burst out laughing. i heart you, mun wah (but finish exam d, do not forget to return my precious macro2 notes)!


and it was true, i never ever wore any shoes, except ballet flats to class! how odd. i really really really heart ballet shoes (or some people call it cotton candy shoes, wtf!!)!! they're easy to slip on, cover my ugly toes. very convenient.

i love ballet shoes! converse there because i really want a pair of converse but i can't find myself forking out for converse!

i love the cream, off-white coloured pair. ( not the black and white one ) love love love. love love!

i.want.to.go.shopping.but.i.still.have.risk.management. shit. can anyone tell me where to get pretty shoes like that? that is from debenhams btw, but debenhams in malaysia is OVERPRICED! (according to the efficient market hypothesis in finance, usually the price falls, BUT NO IT DOES NOT HAPPEN TO SHOE!!)

somebody save me because i am trying to look for a perfect pair of white, comfortable BALLET FLATS! ok some criterias, has to be off white or cream coloured, and it's base has to be rubber, not the hard ones which produces the *kik kok* sound when you walk. and it has to cover my toes!

argh!!!

Ps. oh i dun like wearing heels, so yeah, don't advise me buying heels. they're so UNCOMFORTABLE! how can you pe-poLL wear them?!! they're not meant to be worn! rarr!

Ppppssss. and don't stereotype me by my clothes or shoes please! i feel sad because i feel as if my shoes n skirts give me my personality instead of me giving it to them wth! so no, don't acknowledge me as the-girl-with-ballet-flats or the-girl-who-never-wears-long pants. i feel saD!

5.40 am.

uuueeerghhh!! i just saw pictures from Bangkok and all i want to do now is go to bangkok.

bangkok is my favourite place to be!!! i am so stressed out about financial planning and international monetary economics and and and managing risk, i want to go shopping. *pouts*

i would marry anyone who would bring me there now. seriously.

5.30 am.

it's 5.30 am and i should be in bed. because it was a promise. i can hear the birds chirping outside already. i wonder why do ss2 birds wake up too early. seriously.


today i realized, people actually do read my blog. haha. the other day, there was a sweet girl from penang who added me in msn, telling me she got to know me from here. and my blog was how i met alvin too! haha, stalker.


but anyways, updates because i am still not willing to go to bed and it looks like someone forgot to check on me. awesomes!


this blog has been too much of what i am feeling. so this time, is gonna be, what i am doing! i miss doing posts on what i eat and what i wear wtf. so fun. and easy, less depressing! hehe.


lunch at face2face. where i feel their sarawak noodles taste better than their 'wooden mee' (ala pan mee wth).


so this is a what i ate post....with a what i wore post...and a what am i doing post...haha.


me! because i woke up extra early. and had nothing better to do, and i just felt like doing it today. please tell me have i grown horizontally? i hope i have. le sigh.

le siggggggggggggggggh. international monetary economics. there's 8 graphs of 8 different mechanisms to remember. how did i do it for macro2! it just to be so fun.

i told brandon a couple of hours ago, how i detest ime. but really, i think if i had better notes, and a better lecturer, i would really love this subject. it's really interesting, albeit confusing.

leeeeee siggggggggggggggggggh, it's time for bed. because me nerve calming song (always on

my mind) has just ended. love you, whoever you are, reading this. thank you, for taking 2 minutes of your time reading what i have to say.=))

half of a year. compounding pictures.

yes, i am finding time to at least jot down something for me to look back 20 years later and think 'oh this is what i did 20 years back'.


i am struggling. seriously, i haven't had such a battle for such a long time, it feels so surreal this time. having to battle between finals, a break up and decisions to be made for a trip which was pre-planned (with not much thought of its consequences), i find myself staring dreamily into nothing-ness.


i mean i used to be so grounded on my own feet, what happened to me. i miss me. that's why i keep finding myself insisting that i need so much time alone. to find myself back. it's just that my alter ego has been working for far too long.


so in no particular order, these are some events which took place. (when i was still happening and not preparing for finals)


my first half of two thousand nine:


genting weekend with family. which i spent reading organisational behaviour in the room. it was samseng's 4th birthday.

ryan gan's 1st birthday at dish deli, solaris mont kiara. very quiantly place. but i hated the furnitures.

s vien(xi wen)'s 21st birthday at mc donald's where we gossipped for hours!

we ushered the first day of two thousand nine in dickson's house. oh dickson is my new found friend whom i met on 25th of december 2008. haha.

brandon's cny open house where we messed around with his things.

my 21st birthday trip. and yes, i need a little trip right now. but pangkor was too slumber for me. i would've died if i stayed another night there.

my 21st birthday dinner with the college mates, wished jo n yenne was there! wtf. dinner at tomoe/tomeo, wtf, forgot, sorry. but it was such a fun night!

arthur's farewell dinner at his place. where yee vonn learnt to play her first mahjong game, with my guidance. haha.

random lunches with college mate, which we ended up doing regularly now. like every wednesday followed by foosball, isn't it! haha. where they guys will lose. this was in kim gary/wongkokcharchanteng(forgot sorry, remind me xiwen!).

two thousand nine was also where i bade farewell to many people who means the world to me. that was perhaps the last laughter we had at the airport.

in two thousand nine, i took random pictures of people's feet, wtf. haha. no, in two thousand nine i finished many OB assignments and felt that we should celebrate it! this was at pizza hut where we forgot to call mei yen.

fung keng's birthday at orange, hartamas. where we ended up having bah kut teh in kepong!

one of the many gambling sessions during cny. this was the first night at weng's crib! where i still had my beauuuutiful long curly hair wtf. that was the last time i curled my hair, boo-hoo.

eric's 21st at orange, hartamas. and dinner at puchong. this was before cny i think. IS IT? i am mixing up my dates, help me!

ee vonn's 21st at negara ampang. where i had to drive there, no thanks to yin wai. scary. and the picture above is the after party! at old town, wtf. haha. where the girls sat there and listened to the guys talking about dota, wtf. sigh.

the surprise for ee vonn at eric's crib! where we found a dollar under the table mat.

dinner with lee hom. haha. wait till he sees this.

sai ho's 22nd birthday at long bar, one world hotel. where his prediction about wern n dickson not coming became true!

so, how would you rate my half a year? haha. i still have been skipping classes like nobody's business. but then i feel weird this year. not as happy as i was last year. maybe i just haven't found myself and really, i think too many dilemmas have been bogging me down.

please pray for me that i find myself. haha. so that i can actually start reading my international monetary economics. it's a sickening subject.

the only thing which still has kept me happy would be shopping. haha. does anyone know where to get nice hangers or hangers in bulk at cheap prices!? i used to get them from the suppliers directly. i have no idea where those 30 hangers i newly bought went to. so please pm me if you know where to get nice and cheap hangers in bulks! thank you.

Untitled.

i've been meaning to pen this down but i can't exactly find the right words for it. so beg me while i pour my feelings out in this post.

lately, i've been feeling very defensive against everyone. i have zilch idea why. it's the kind of feeling where you feel someone is going to say something or do something to hurt you. and you just aren't willing to open up a lil to embrace the pain. you can directly accuse me of not handling criticism well but i am sure you will do the same if you had these kind of bulge in your tummy.

many a hours before this, maybe a day or two, someone said something to me. which i felt shan't be said at all in the first place. have you tried doing something for one person, and the person comes pointing back at you saying that whatever you did was unethical?

i just can't seem to explain how it feels. it feels as if the world has cheated on me or has played me.

have you been cheated once, and been very protective of yourself??

why do we need everything!

today before i left house for dinner, i was picking an outfit to wear. and i sat in front of my wardrobe, i realised i have quite a number of clothes.

and this came up to my mind.

ever wondered why your girlfriend/wife/girl friend has so many clothes and she still buys?

this is the reason why: everything is essential.

you see, i used to think that a pair of white shorts is essential to my wardrobe. well white goes well with everything, right? for casual wear, college wear, slutty nights wtf. then as time passes, i realised the black shorts would be essential too. i mean, sure, white and black are basic colours right? (but my sister stole my black one) then as time passes, the pinstripped ones are in! wtf, then we have the black pinstripped and the grey pinstripped ones. then i would decide i needed a khaki one to put together a laid down casual look. then i would go get a khaki one. AND THEN, there's the high waisted trend, so i went out to get the high waisted shorts, wtfomgbbq. then the sailor look came about and we decide we need a pair of navy blue shorts. wtf right? so if your girlfriend has this many amount of shorts, please forgive her.

then i got my first dress, which i do not remember which is it. then i decide, it is too formal for casual wear. then i go out and get some smocked tube dresses. then summer came by and we needed halter dresses! wtf, then i get some from Supre happily. THEN SPRING CAME ABOUT, wtf, and i needed floral dresses. wtf is this. then all of a sudden i realised, my dresses are too casual for a night out, then i go out to get some party dresses, tight and short wtf. then i read some fashion magazine and they say, a little black dress is essential, wtf, then i go out to buy a LBD. then i frigging decide it's too slutty and too boring for every single night, so i went out to get a white angelic one, wtf, that's how i have another dress. then it's your grandma's birthday and all your dresses are too slutty for her birthday (in case heart attack all the shit) then you go out to get a more conservative dress. and then your dear friend's birthday comes about and there's a dress code for her party, and you go out and get a dress for that! that's how a lady can end up with 30 dresses. please forgive her.

and it comes even worse when you're me, and the fact that i love any cardigans or pullovers or sweaters.

when i first entered college, i decided, okay a sweater would be essential. so i picked a white, thick one. then as time passes by i decided that my white sweater doesn't go with everything but instead if i got a black cardigan, it should do a better job in matching dresses too! then i would decide that if i kept washing the same black cardigan, its colour would run and i go out and buy ANOTHER BLACK CARDIGAN wtfudge! then i decide, black is so boring and it doesnt matches my floral dresses so i go out to hunt for an off-white cardigan, wtf. so there another added to the collection. then the striped were and in thing and i went to get it in yellow stripes, grey stripes and thin stripes!! ok thanks, another three to the collection. then i thought, a grey plain sweater would do great in matching many outfits, very very essential, then i go out and buy a grey sweater. then the body hugging cardigan was in, so i hunted for body hugging ones, then the COSY ONES made their debut, WTF, so i bought those. sigh. this is how the hell a girl can end up with 20 cardigans (not me okay, at least NOT YET). then we had the wrap around cardigan, the hoodie, the cropped cardigan omg. i even have a fur sweater, wat for in msia!

seriously everything is essential! now you wonder why your girlfriend has that many clothes? this is the reason why!

Catchin' up on life.

It has been awhile since I have, wtf, blogged about something happy. not that i am really just a sadistic person, just that i've been very very occupied. so this is a quickie on what i have been up to.

i have been completing my assignments. and been doing exams. why the fuck has rmit mid semester paper become such a bitch!! seriously. i read read read and memorize, but everything which comes out has no significance to what you have read.

remember how we easily did good enough in empirical studies in equity markets by just reading once?! i mean, how come i did well in that year 3 paper, when i was back in year 2 and now i can't cope with a year 3 paper, when i am now in year 3!!! what has the world gotten into.

okay, this is big news. that's if i havent told you. two hell weeks ago, i was feeling a pain on my gums end, and thinking it was just because i was 'heaty', i ignored it. but on saturday (wtf i actually remember the day), easter itself, i realized i could feel my wisdom tooth coming out.

wtf gg. my nightmare has arrived hello.

seeing jin endure the pain, i really hope mine wouldn't even appear. so i went for an appointment with the dentist which he eventually said 'let it be there for six months, we'll see then what we can do' but that night itself it was freaking pain like balls!

so cut long story short, i went to see another dentist (more handsome one, seriously) on friday and underwent a minor surgery to remove it.

i decided to remove it on the spot because
1) i didn't want the wisdom tooths to move my other teeth. i hate senget teeth, how do people cope with ugly teeth (ahem, gigi taring!)
2) finals are coming up, and stress wtf 'enhances' the ache, so i didn't want the tooth to interfere with my finals

on the other hand, i really didn't want to do it last friday because
1) i just have so many activities lined up that weekend. bitch tooth.

dentist in the morning on friday. amazingly i wasn't very terrified, instead took it lightly. i didn't feel that sort of anxiety which i felt when i took my company law paper, wtf.







Having my final solid food.


This was immediately after the surgery. i felt nothing, boohoo. i guessed the handsome dentist must have numbed me too much as even my freaking nose was numb. wtf.



oh there was only one. and my wisdom tooth was still beneath my gums. so he had to slit my gums to dig the tooth out. and those red stuff stuck to the tooth above is not just blood, but gum particles too!


tadaaa. broken tooth. drilled into two parts.

eww blooood. wtf. the goss was my friend for the next few hours after the mini surgery.

gosh, since it is my first surgery, i guess, i am finally adult wtf! oh i healed very quickly because the next day i was at AC already supporting champion. so pick my dentist is you wanna remove your wisdom tooth, cause he is good and he is handsome (very important).

next update is that, wtf, i am having finals. boo-hoo.

lastly, i just got back from the dentist again. and i should be studying by now. so bai!

Span of two hours.

i should be asleep right now. but what happened in within 2 hours before this, has been running through my mind, and it bogs me down. maybe what i am now, is not who i was then.

have you ever felt that, you have been given too short a time to achieve something to big its influence? have you felt as if you wanted to build something in a few weeks which usually takes a few years to build? and you try having everything at your hands, every resources to achieve what you want to. you felt it was possible, but then, again like pillars of salt, so fragile, seem so unlikely.

how'd we know what beholds for us in the future. how'd you know what beholds for you tomorrow. how'd you know there is such thing as love. faith, is what makes us believe in the slightest impossible thing. there is no sign, no prediction. only faith to bring us where we want to be.

people have long ago taken for granted the word obligation and responsibility. to me, these are two different events. every obligation is a responsibility. but remind yourself, every responsibility is not an obligation. responsibility may just be a word created by our ancestors for us to feel the guilt of not doing something in a soft way. one can choose to fulfill her responsibilities, there is an option, there is a yes or no, there is a right. maybe it's time to change what our ancestors mindfucked us, that if we do not fulfill our responsibility, we should feel guilt.

don't bother feeling the guilt, cause it's a waste of time. no one will appreciate the guilt anyways. not especially when there are no strings attached.

then again, it has been a norm for humans to blame before they looked upon their own actions. maybe it has become a habit of mine to look at my own first, blame myself, take light years actually realize it's not my bad. i analyze and analyze. interprete meanings in metaphores. why have i become such a queen of analyzing.

when people do something bad towards me, or if they have taken me for granted, i take years and years to realize, i'm not that bad. during those years and years, i live in guilt.

my life is like a pillar of salt, felt as if i built it fast, but seem so fragile, because i lose faith and trust in myself.

i always thought i could build my pillar of salt, in a short span of time. using every single piece of source i can find. but there is no such thing as perfection.

people say, we learn from mistakes. i say, there is no room for mistakes. everything crumbles, if there is a mistake. you risk everything, through one mistake.

greed brings me here. and greed is the one who tears me apart.