Be my mistake, will you.

today is my typical sunday. where i decide not to go church. it was particularly hot. and seriously i am so sleep deprived. i was dead tired last night, but as soon as i close my eyes, these little bewildered thoughts run across my already troubled mind. seriously, my heart begs them to stop. i am tired.

so i woke up feeling like a zombie. really crappy especially waking up in the heat.

what more having cravings for nasi goreng kampung. i swear my cravings have their swings. (i really can't blog about where i ate stuff who i saw stuff anymore, i don't know why. i can't do the ; i had lunch at ******* with *** and ****) but i can tell you that during lunch, my mother actually repeated about the swine flu hitting the singapore at least thrice! fml.

but she was a great company nonetheless. no one talks to me that way.


me in my sunday dress, sitting at the edge of the bed waiting to flee from house, wth.

i spent last night thinking what company i should work for. so i went on jobstreet. yes, i went on jobstreet a little early. and there was this space where you fill where would like to work. i chose...selangor and kuala lumpur. alongside, i ticked singapore, hong kong, china, india.

that says a lot right?

says a lot on how i felt at that time. how willing i am to work away from everything. don't people just realize this? i just want to dismiss this solitary moment.

cute picture of my just cause there hasn't been one for a long time. cute skirt which was in my cupboard since february till now and untouched.

i was catching grey's anatomy last night. and it quoted 'we're humans, we make mistakes, misestimate and call it all wrong. every step taken then, is like a stitch' (something like that, you think i can remember the whole shit?). i can't agree more.

a friend is telling me over the phone, how much i need someone to share my life with. a part of me wants to agree. a part of me wants someone to laugh with me, someone to cry with me, someone to tell me what to do. but i don't want to be hurt. so much of understanding there's a price to pay, must we pay for love? i didn't sign up for this.

i didn't sign up to get hurt, did i?

at a glance, the pictures made you think it's a happy post. were you being deceived? who knows what's behind a happy cover. is this why clowns are creepy? they draw a smile on their white painted faces, but we can't tell if they're smilling. we can't, can we?

at the end of the day, we're just human as we are. build a defensive shield as time calls for it.


random thought: someone once told me, about a year ago, that everything is temporary. and i was fighting against it. but today, i can't agree more. there's shouldn't be feelings. just numbness on the toes and fingers. that's how it should be. you will get what i mean.